help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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