i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize