Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
we should paint friendship bongs
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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