I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize