This is not my ceiling
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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