I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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