Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
