white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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