it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
