i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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