He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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