At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
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