No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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