That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
