ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
