Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
