Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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