I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
