there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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