Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
