Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
