Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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