Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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