I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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