a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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