All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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