Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
