i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
