big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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