What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
