People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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