just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize