You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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