Having a random hookup so left but love u
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
