I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
