I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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