Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
