I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
