grandma shit on top of the toilet
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
