Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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