So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
