Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Bring me that man meat
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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