I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
