I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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