i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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