Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
4 words: hood of his car
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
