What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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