I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I am one with the molecules
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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