I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
