We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
