you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
