Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
