I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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