butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
