Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
