It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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