Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
my poor anus
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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