He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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