They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
