Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I could fuck to npr.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
