I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
