I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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