u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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