remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize