If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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