sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
