He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
