Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
